06 May 2013

Bacon is done, eggs are cooking, toast is in and I need to pee.  The conflict in the house between the teens, a little boy not wanting to go to school and Peter trying to cope with kids in his life.... well it is hard.  It is hard not to just grab a couple of kids and run away.  Everyone expects everyone to behave better and everyone expects that I can MAKE everyone behave the way they want.

I feel like I need to be a foot taller.  Not to yell or over power but to be tall enough to gather up all the day and all the troubles and sort them out and make everything right for all.

They all want meals at the table, the kitchen perfect, the fridge full, they all want my attention separately.  Peter says yes we can do something, go somewhere, if it is just the two of us.  Did he not see the 3 children before we moved in together.   We dont need to be the brady bunch but I do want some kind of family life for the kids.  I didnt have the thought that I would have a man in my life so I could walk away from my children.  They deserve a family with all the love, talks, meals, bike rides, outings, special celebrations.... just like any other children.

OK so no time for typing.... dishes, maths with Tom and out the door to work.

It cant all be left to one person.

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