I'm thrilled that it is finally the new year!

This year I'm determined to NOTICE all the things that happen in our lives.  My sister (both sisters) has inspired me to keep a note in a pretty jar as a record of what happens this year.  Especially to read and take stock at Christmas time.

Come February I am going to write to schools and kinders regarding my dress screens.  What could be nicer than a fundraising opportunity where I show off my screens and quilts etc and hopefully make plenty of lovely sales?  Im working on making sure I have cushions and other accessories to go with the dress screens : sort of like a set of colour.

I am working on a catalogue of fabrics so that people can feel them and see them.  Great photos are also on the agenda for early in the year for advertising.  I dont care if I have to letterbox the whole peninsula : I will get these screens out there!!!

TEENS : not too manic

MY BOY : a bit bored

HOUSEWORK : 5 out of 10

WEATHER : cloudy and really warm

LOVE METER : havent worked out a scale LOL

Our garden

Is there a place for my feelings?

There can be no doubt the Royal Commission into child abuse is the correct organised response to heart breaking experiences at the hands of evil.  But in the background very close to the surface is a new stirring up of buried guilt and shame and sorrow that for me is impossible to push back into a place that I suppose all victims know about. And so I find myself in a place of acknowledging the victims must be heard but wondering if even some of them share my pain and wonder at us going through hurt all over again.  Perhaps revealing the evil isnt meant to heal.

I was doing medium ok with the demons of the past jumping out from time to time.  First was a television piece reporting on children living as wards of the State that has overwhelmed me.  Second, in that exhibition for all to see is an extremely private recollection of a young female ward being placed in gynaecological stirrups.  Extra sized lettering on a huge board quote the doctor telling her she will open up easily.  The curator of this exhibition either personally understands something of my horror of being in stirrups at age 8 or he/she has no idea at all.

Are there any other victims suffering too much while not wanting to take away the right to be heard off others? Am I alone in feeling washed away by the memories? Is there language that could expose the evil without leaving victims exposed? Is it appropriate to expose our vulnerability on the over sized board, big letters heralding our physical and emotional nakedness? Why arent the sins of the evil ones on those boards?

new things Ive finished

something new Im working on.....

To the love of my life - you know who you are - I love you till the end of time come what may

Some of my work Im trying to finish this week :)

Im not sure I will ever feature in the Hand-made Australia blog so I thought Id put my thoughts here on MY blog.  It was actually a great exercise to think about the how and why.  Still scarey.... still committed.

What inspired you to start your business?

I had just finished a memory quilt made out of competition t-shirts.  The panels were flapping in the breeze on the clothes line out in the sunshine and I thought it would be nice to see kids running through the quilted pieces, touching and interacting with them.  My partner and I were walking through a shopping center and saw some canvas room dividers.  I commented that it would be a dreamy idea to make dress screens and cover them with quilts.  To my surprise he said that wouldnt be a problem as he used to make dress screen frames!

What is your handmade business all about?

My handmade business is all about choice and value for money.  YOU get to choose the dimensions of the screen and also the fabric and design that decorates it.  This gives you great choice in affordably redecorating your space.  The screen panels are washable.  The dress screens are made out of great products like oak dowel and allergy resistant bamboo wadding.  We keep a record of all the screens we make and you can order a new set of screen covers at a very reasonable price.  This makes our dress screens an investment rather than being a "throw away" item.  New ideas are coming in all the time.  We are working on bridal screens as well as puppet theatres and castle walls for children.

What do you enjoy most about your business?

Planning the design of the screens.  We live on the Mornington Peninsula two blocks from the beach and I have three children ranging from 19 to 7 years of age.  That is quite a lot of inspiration.  Then there are the wonderful designers who make fabrics these days.  Just amazing variety and colour.

What is your favourite product to make?

To be honest any quilt will do.

How did you learn your craft?

Ive sewn since I was a teenager but I really got into quilts about 12 years ago.  My mother taught me to sew clothes but in quilts I am self taught.

What handy hints do you have for people who are starting up a hand-made business?

Ive recently joined "The business bakery", a small business interactive website.  It is great support network.  Not only great advice.  Just as importantly, interaction with other small business people who understand the fatigue and isolation and stresses that sometimes weigh down on small business people.

What plans do you have for your business in the next year?

I plan to load up the van with my screens and go from markets to shops, from wedding venues to charity auctions, spreading the news that dress screens are back in style, in YOUR style.

A dreary weekend but had time for a walk along the beach and some crochet.

A

PaperWorks on Handmade Australia

PaperWorks on Handmade Australia

Selling book marks, cards and other paper creations.

Changing jobs : dedicating some proper attention to my small business

Starting a new phase in my life.  After over a year of having to put off sewing etc because of work commitments - well now I have to put off work commitments and learn to organise and juggle home, kids and small business.  In a way it is about time.  On the other hand the teens are making it really hard and a lot of the time I want to run away down to the shed, to my own sewing space, and hide from their anger and demands.

Sometimes I only get a small window of opportunity to create.  So I am taking the advice of a successful business person, and I am keeping a very visual and sample like journal of everything I touch, look at and create.  The reasons are many.  Like being able to duplicate something that turns out great.  Im going back over my short and medium term goals.  I might be a failure of a mother but Im not going to fail at small business.  My screens, quilts and boy dolls wont, after all, be able to talk back or tell me to bugger off.

I think I have always been a little scared of my children.  Scared of them making a scene, of being too strong for me to handle, of them being disappointed in me.  I dont think I really let them get away with too much.  Sometimes I think I have always been a doormat.  It varies from day to day depending on how hard they are fighting me.  I really just want them to finish their education and find a job that doesnt make them physically sick and then they can get on with making their own lives.  It feels kind of sad, but I will be glad, as long as they are financially ok, when they pack their bags and go out on their own.  Im tired of fighting teens.

So right now Im crocheting a cat and Im working on my lists.  Next week - one of the short term goals - Peter has promised that we will make 3 more screen frames.  Ive so much hand quilting to do.  But Im happy in that.  Just have to get the right lighting and get going again.  I LOVE hand quilting.

In the back of my mind is the question : "what if Im successful with my screens and have to make heaps?"  Im jotting down some ideas about how I would cope with that.  There has been an offer of shared work shed space from a friend.  That dedicated work space for frame making would be great.  I, being me, would probably always want to make the screen covers.  But there are some great sewers out there and I might be able to get someone to come and help me make the covers.  That would be exciting : to have enough orders to HAVE to employ someone.  I think I can get the making design and steps tight so I can make up to 5 a week.  I couldnt really hope to sell any more than that.  Could I?

I wonder if it is a common problem - to wish to be successful in a cottage industry but then to dread success?

Well apron on - domestic bliss calls - cleaning up Sam's painting left overs and dishes as always.