..... breaking up is hard to do.....

I'm feeling like I've broken up with a boyfriend or something.  Leaving that place and those people was overdue and SO important to my medium to long term sanity.... but short term.... well I put a lot of myself into that place and it hurts to not have it in my heart and mind like it was just a week ago.

It has become SO clear now.  Wow to think it took me a year to figure out and 18 months to get out.

I honestly believe the group was doomed right from the start.  It took two strong people to keep things going for way too long.... mostly on their own. 

And with little documentation, manuals, welcome packs, forms, "how to"s..... well the members who signed up quickly faded away.  Fish that got away.  No projects, no direction, no clear instructions on how to get involved and "own" some cool activities or even workshops.

And so who knows the exact future but they have to close.

They are not viable once they sign the lease and they have to sign the lease.

And that is that.

And Im so very sad.

Your home is your castle...

and wouldn't it be terrific sometimes to not only have high walls but also the moat and draw bridge?

Remember Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and the City?  Her character sitting somewhere perfect, looking perfect, tapping out perfect little life observations and a clever quip at the end?

Well forget it instantly that isnt me. 

I'm more like everything needs work and I've been terribly embarrassed so here I am getting it out so I can settle down and feel better. NOTHING in my life is perfect.

So a lovely person just landed and thank God they quickly went on their way.  They observed the many projects I have waiting for me in my front garden.  Well it would be a garden if  I had any time to give to it.  I have dogs.... and my projects have to wait in my front garden until I can find somewhere to hide them around the back. 

So I'm going out the front to tackle my front yard right?  Nope.  I've been up since dark with my boy.  I'm suffering the second part of a flu.  Today I'd finishing a sewing job and making junk journals.

I'm planning on attending an event on Monday to promote reuse of resources that might otherwise go into landfill.  So I'm using the time my son is asleep to finish a little sewing, begin my junk journals (photo later) AND sew some orphan block chickens!!!

Who really knows the cost of buying a home?

Our brains are amazing creatures.  I'm surprised often at how much I think I know and then how much I don't know... while I'm busy thinking I'm "in the know".

Take the experience of buying a house.  I thought you bought a house and picked up the keys.  Turns out you have to pay quite a few people, including your new city council and state government, quite a packet of money... besides the big bag of money for the property.  Better be putting aside a few thousand for the hangers on.

My dad used to say "nothing like a few human beings to stuff up a good idea".

Our house

Moving is going to be a little more complicated than usual.  Although not as insane as moving a new born and two kids from QLD to Vic.

It is over 3,000 from Melbourne to the wheat belt of W.A.  Lucky for us it has great coastal scenery.  A week of travelling should do it.  I hope the dog survives.

Even in country W.A. the house prices are climbing and I really didn't know of all the hidden costs that are involved in buying a house.  It isn't just a matter of having your bank loan and 20%.  There are solicitor fees and building inspection fees and then there are rates until June next year!  And we haven't even paid for the house yet.

We will be lucky to get there and have enough money to furnish the house.

We do feel very very lucky to be able to buy a home.  And we are all committed to making the house and the garden warm and beautiful and a real home to all of us.  Something we have needed for ever.

One special part of our house will be the internal fence and gate that will set off Samuel's room.  More photos when we land but here is the inspiration.

Collecting sea water for eco dyeing on a very cold day

I discovered last year that sea water encourages naturally bright yellows from our local wattle flowers.  I have many yellow flowers here this year and so off we went to collect some sea water for some more flower colour eco dyeing experimenting.

Getting ready to go

She might be 16 years old but she has a lot of new stuff.  The important stuff like battery and tyres.  Her interior and brakes are in great condition and she only has 167,000 km on the clock.  And she is my fav colour : blue.

Molli

Under the board walk

Willow

Baking Today

Im busy running back and forward to help Sam.  He has a chest infection.  Exhausted and upset. The doctor has put him on steroids, antibiotics and panadol.

I need a distraction for the inbetween time.  He is driving me a little nuts..... even though Im happy to look after him.  LOL  He is 9 years old.  But he keeps on saying the sickness has to leave now.  He has had enough.

So Ive made dozens of sausage rolls

AND now on to marmalade cakes.

It is rewarding and not too time consuming.

And I found this great blog with conversion "everything"..... that is the tough thing for me.  Trying out recipes from all over the place and NOT being sure of what the conversions are.

Talking about the homeless....

A friend called the current homeless situation in Melbourne “a plague”. 

I was taken aback.  Why would he refer to human suffering this way?  The other side of my brain went into overdrive;  Camus’ “La Peste” (the plague).  I downloaded the novel and read it again.  I had the uneasy feeling that he might have used exactly the right words.

 

Camus comments that man is never prepared for the disasters that befall him.  Asks his readers : are these disasters the consequence of man going against some part of nature, or do bad things just happen?

What is your response?  Do you blame the homeless man (the one) or society (the many)?  Is it simply unfortunate or a penance for bad choices?  

Are you able to look away and continue with your business?  Do you trust that the authorities will act?  Do you think they will assume there is nothing they can do?

Human nature stops us humans from eradicating inequality ... there is no hope of protecting all humanity from the plague... but the lack of hope cannot be a reason to do nothing.

Misty glare

Out and about collecting pine needles and willow tree for some weaving.

It's been a hot start to autumn and today is misty, wet, grey and glare is high.  But have been meaning to photograph this house for so long.

Writing more this year

I really love photo blogs but this year holds such promise that I think I will allow myself to keep note of regular events and hopefully keep note of some unexpected and surprising events too.

Wow the crowds that come visiting this end of the Mornington Peninsula are getting bigger!  Tents and every kind of caravan poised all along the foreshore.  And insane traffic.  So many people in our small shopping center.  Makes you wonder if they even have shops in Melbourne.  Our shops really dont hold big ranges of anything.... and yet each holiday season all these people gather trolley loads of stuff.  And this isnt just food.  In fact Im guessing most of it isnt food.  So how do they have the room in their cars and vans to take it all home again?

Im sorting through my fabric and coming up with 4 different baby boy quilts.  A lot of loving some fabrics and thinking .... "what did I ever buy that for?" for thankfully not too many others.

Second hole in Samuel's wall.  SIGH   Luckily Ive had to fill a hole before... paid over $200 for one small patch.... this time around I know what to do and will save some money.  Now to get Samuel some coping tactics so we dont have more.  Will be securing an appointment with Monash Hospital for ongoing counselling.  Hope to be able to get in.  Feeling very alone with this Autistic thing again.

Organised bank account way over due.  Now to organise a savings plan, reorganise my business, tax file number and another uni degree to organise.

Creative work this week : crochet, blouse, pants, 4 quilts, another quilt.  Well that will do....but there is knitting a shawl and finding an elusive crochet pattern.

Grey windy day but kind of pockets of warmth.... enough that you feel you are wanting more fresh air and certainly clothes are an option LOL

Making lists.  SO important to achieve today, this week, this month, this year.