Ive been stupid.  Ive been so busy trying to hold everything together and scrap together an existence that I never even looked up maintenance details.  I havent checked for years.  Literally.

And now the heartache.  The amount is much more.  The money SO needed.  Not for clothes or shoes but for teeth and for school.  The child Ive been trying to nurse through sadness and isolation could have some money to do so many things.  Clothes and a hair cut.  His computer upgrade.  He has nothing.  He waits. Patiently.

But what about the love for the man?  How do I explain how much his son has gone without?  The most urgent is just one tooth.  A dentist visit I cant afford.

But doesnt the child have to come first?  Ive been such an idiot.

Last night a discussion with the child.  Telling him all this.  Asking what should we do.  He says Dad probably cant afford it.  I say he can.  It's based on his wage.  His eyes fill with tears.  Then go for it he says.  We need help.