12 January 2015

"I didn't throw it away" Blog Train entry

This is the watch that I have kept for more than 20 years.  I bought it for my mother with my own money.  I was working at Goodman Fielder at the time.  

I found it in a little shop in Smith St, Collingwood, Melbourne.  I bought an "upside down" watch because she had worked for many years as a nurse and had one.  A plain one.  I wanted to buy her the world but I couldnt afford that.  I thought she might understand how this marcasite watch was beautiful.  It might have helped if it worked.  I thought it precious.

I keep it to remind me that I loved my mum and wanted to give her nice things that she never bought for herself.  I also keep it to remind me that I was a disappointment to her.  I keep it to remind me that although she always felt my efforts were not good enough I always gave the best that I could.  I keep it to make me strive harder to give the important things to the people I love.  I keep it to yell out inside my mind what I wanted to yell at my mother.  "You should love it because I bought it for you with all my love."

My mother was one of 11 born into a pretty messed up family.  Here she is on the back of Grandpa's truck taking flowers to market.

Here she is somewhere around 20 years old.  I always thought she was beautiful.  I think she was just born into the wrong family.  She married without her parents guiding her properly.  She married a man who ruined her life.  It is a blessing he died in my opinion and Im his daughter.  Her marriage to my step dad was the total opposite.  He is a good man.  But she couldnt relax, love herself.  The die was cast back in Diamond Creek in her parents home.  Her siblings were not supportive.  Destructive people.  So there are many reasons I guess why she wasnt happy.  There are certainly many reasons why I didnt make her happy.  But I always craved her love and acceptance.  Well any child does.

This post is part of a blog train hosted by Agatha from Green Issues by Agy on "I Didn't Throw It Away".
We have become such a throw-away society, but there are some things in our households that we still keep. Why is that so? Perhaps this blog train can unlock the reasons behind it! Follow the daily posts on this blog train and read about the stories behind the things we have kept for many years and why we didn't throw them away.

You can read tomorrow's entry at

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