At last! have some time to do a fabric test with Derwent Inktense pencils.

Ive used 50 : 50 Jo Sonya's textile medium / water.

After heat setting with an iron I will wait 48 hours and wash the piece.  Im really hopeful for colourfastness.

Going to have owls sitting in the centre of these 12 in blocks.

Made up quilt pattern on EQ7.  Fantastic program worth every cent.

Im not absolutely certain that my children are happy with the mother they have.  My Samuel loves me but I think the other two are too old for blind love LOL.

Im grateful for Samuel.  He gives me a second chance to mother in a different way in some areas.  I think it was a mistake to make my children number 1 in my life as they grew up.  I should always remain number 1 in  my attitude and in my day.  Hopefully Samuel will grow up less selfish because he knows he is one of many.

People have thought that I have been gracious to my children because Im lazy and it is an easier option than handing out discipline.  Believe me... grace is more difficult than lashing out.  My children have made me a better human being who is more able to consider other people.  Well there had to be a plus LOL.

1. Going to give up working at takeaway shop Monday.

2. Going to organise embroidery lessons

and thanks to the support of a dear friend....

sewing lessons.

Bacon is done, eggs are cooking, toast is in and I need to pee.  The conflict in the house between the teens, a little boy not wanting to go to school and Peter trying to cope with kids in his life.... well it is hard.  It is hard not to just grab a couple of kids and run away.  Everyone expects everyone to behave better and everyone expects that I can MAKE everyone behave the way they want.

I feel like I need to be a foot taller.  Not to yell or over power but to be tall enough to gather up all the day and all the troubles and sort them out and make everything right for all.

They all want meals at the table, the kitchen perfect, the fridge full, they all want my attention separately.  Peter says yes we can do something, go somewhere, if it is just the two of us.  Did he not see the 3 children before we moved in together.   We dont need to be the brady bunch but I do want some kind of family life for the kids.  I didnt have the thought that I would have a man in my life so I could walk away from my children.  They deserve a family with all the love, talks, meals, bike rides, outings, special celebrations.... just like any other children.

OK so no time for typing.... dishes, maths with Tom and out the door to work.

It cant all be left to one person.