The "adult" thing to do.

After a round of phone calls yesterday I feel all therapy sessions and assessments are really a waste of time!  At the end of the day Samuel wasnt red flagged as being on the Autistic spectrum in prep by the school psychologist and now he is too old to get some financial help.  Our school doesnt participate in the ABA therapy and Boneo primary is full.  It costs $6000 a term.  The lady said many parents downsize, move, take out their superannuation.  I cant believe what Im hearing.

So if we look at it logically the $1000 Im spending on therapists to diagnose Samuel will get me a piece of paper that will allow the school to apply for funding to get an aide for some hours for Samuel.  Will this aide be trained to work with the sensory and anxiety issues that Samuel has?  Knowing the education department as I do... I doubt it.  So why spend the money?

Well the world at large demands that we have a diagnosis on paper.

As Samuel goes into the teen years (heaven help me) I think we are going to need some help to get him into routines around hygiene and help him with friends and school.  But is a 1/2 hour visit once a fortnight or once a month going to help?  Especially if 6 hours a week at a cost of $6000 a term is what other kids have?

So we will get the all the testing done..  But in the short term Im not going to take him to a psychologist.  Im going to find out everything I can and help him myself.  Im going to need to pay later.  But Im not going to make someone else rich at the moment.

This might sound like a really unwise move.  But honestly... if you watched these professionals test Samuel.... they make demands of him and the tests are so long.  Ok one point of view is that weaknesses will show up.  But he crumples in about five minutes!  And then after that I dont feel they are seeing really what he knows and what he can do.  Because they are so rushed and he is on his own train ride of stress and refusal.  Really?  In all that mix of high anxiety and NOT performing.... they can charge me a couple of hundred for a report?  They dont even spend enough time with him to know him.  And everyone says these kids are all so different.  Its chaos in the room.  What can they know about him?

If you search and search and get past all the "parent therapy" session blogs.... there is some scientific research and methods to help available.  It takes time to find it.  But it is there.

I dont know what shifted for Samuel last night.  It is this NOT understanding how he feels and thinks that is the mystery that I feel will never be solved for me.  Anyway he did heaps of homework.  I wonder why?  Honestly... what changed for him?

We are bathed by 7.30pm, in bed by 8.00pm and asleep by 10pm.  Its a long night.  Maybe I need some "Im in bed" things for him to do.  I dont want him to just "get up".  But if he honestly takes time to relax and get to sleep.... maybe there are some particular quiet things that he can do so he doesnt climb all over me for two hours!

Is there anything else that life has in store for me?  Any more great sins that I need to do penance for?  Load me up.

Going to bed.

It's nearly two hours to the minute since Samuel first got into bed.

In these two hours there has been fun and games, eating and drinking, throwing up, sucking on Tums.  My stomach hurts from the frustration of telling someone to get into bed, who I know isnt listening.

And I ponder that while Im taking my mind away from the situation.  The "isnt listening" part.  Because if he isnt listening... then why am I speaking?  Instead of asking him to get into the car in the mornings, perhaps I should just get everything into the car and then turn it over.  Do up my seat belt and hope he makes the connection.  Even though that sounds absolutely crazy... honestly speaking is sensory overload for me!!  Because Im the only one listening and responding... with so much stomach acid Im sure to get a stomach ulcer.  Or perhaps my head will finally explode like the muppet chef.

And yet... if I practise not speaking... then will he be learning to hear less and less?

Tomorrow it is the first day back at school and Im already in a panic because he says he is no good at school and he doesnt like school and he isnt going.

I really dont know.

This week... packing a lot in!!!

School holidays are going along very quickly with not too much drama.  But to be honest I think Samuel will be glad to see Monday come along.  It was too cold at the skate park yesterday to really have much fun... and he had a big spill and hurt his hip and elbow.  Im sure it always hurts more when you are really really skinny AND its cold AND you are hitting cold concrete.

Sewing group items are coming along.  And it's working out ok timewise with my other sewing.  It seems the more time I organise and cut out for the up coming launch, the more cutting out I get done for my own business.

Time is what Im short of.  Well money too.  But that is a constant isnt it?  Particularly because Ive put everything into getting into my sewing business.  We are ok.  Just cruising.  Thomas has his $300 computer upgrade and plenty of clothes.  I need to spend some more time with him.... but when Samuel is back at school it will be easier.  The bills are paid.  The laptop was a luxury but the older ones are using it for school A LOT so that's great.  Any attention to learning is a bonus.

Im making bunting, aprons, doll quilts, a cushion.... what else?  for the launch.  Ive written to the local paper.  I will walk around the streets soon and get posters up in the shops.  I hope heaps of people come.

Im nearly there.... getting used to going to bed around 9.30pm and up at 4 am with Peter.  I get really tired by the end of the day but Im pushing through and getting heaps done.  The house looks a lot better and Im getting home made things cooked to save money and keep us healthy I hope.

Peter goes off to QLD for a holiday in just over a week.  He will be gone 3 weeks.

Charlotte took some lovely photos the other day.  She helped me at the beach house.

My girl loaned me her camera...

Autumn

Well Autumn has arrived!  It's much cooler.  The washing takes a bit longer to dry.  I'm reaching for a jumper ... but still it warms up and I can take it off later in the day.

I love Autumn.  I love Spring too.  The in-between seasons that are comfy and kind of let you enjoy the best of two seasons.  It's nice to have the summer crowds gone.  I miss the beach.  Samuel still insists we go... but he is reluctant to go in.  Even though we have recently bought a wetsuit.  He wears that thing day in day out.  I suppose remembering that he loves a swim.

We are doing lots of medical appointments for Samuel this week.  I have to drive to Mornington today.  OMG!  It's ok.... breathe!

I'm closer to having the whole house shuffled, reorganised and running like a well oiled machine (excuse the cliche).  But when is the sewing and making going to happen?  Always so much to do with the house and the kids.  Still.... I'm cooking two meals at a time to try and get OUT of the kitchen every other day.  The washing is up to day well isn't that amazing?  The garden doesn't look too bad.

I'm kind of still thinking I can sew to make a living (modest one).  I'm kind of keeping my ears open about jobs going.  I'm still nervous and if a job came up... something like... 4 mornings a week... Id probably turn traitor, jump ship and get employed!!

I do take courage from my friend who has started an occasional care center.  She got approved yesterday.  She had an idea, a talent, and went for it.  It has taken her a lot of time, energy, a few nice people including me :) to jump on her happy train and help.  But at the end of the day it was her determination and perseverance.  I have some of that.... so I'll keep moving in the general direction.

I finally found an op shop where I could buy t-shirts for next to nothing.  Hool-a-hoop mats here we come!  Hopefully Saturday will see 4 or 5 ladies willing to give it a go.  Must look up how wide to cut the strips.... should be fun although how many t-shirts exactly do you need to make one?  Does anyone really know?

I'm grateful today for my son who has taken the initiative and has completed an entire weeks work without me!  I'm grateful for the friendshp of my daughter.  I'm grateful that Samuel is high end functioning and not much much worse... for his sake and mine too.

I'm hopeful for great outcomes from these appointments.  It is very tiring trying to keep a partner happy while a child is bouncing off walls.  And if I'm the only one trying to understand and support Samuel it sounds like I'm letting him get away with stuff.  It sounds like I'm pandering to him.  I hope these appointments will help Samuel and me understand routine and discipline so we can tighten that up a bit.  He is a very good boy most of the time.  I'm very grateful for the "most of the time".

Back beach February 2015

My beautiful son.

After a whim took us to a very wind swept ocean beach we took these photos.  I look awful!  But I clipped some lovely photos of Thomas.  They are beautiful to me.  They capture his handsome face.

Im so proud of him.  He is struggling a little bit to get in the zone.... but he is trying to get back into study and I mean really trying.  He is going to be such a wonderful man in this world.  He will contribute great things.

 

We are so lucky!

 



Samuel has been diagnosed high functioning autistic.  I am very grateful that mostly this seems to involve communication in all its forms, fine motor skills and anxiety when routines change, expectations change, loud noises (like school carnivals) occur.

Im very grateful that he can appear to be a very normal 9 year old.  Im very grateful that with some further investigation and then some learning and counselling.... he should have an ok life.

Today I found a turtle.  (No not a sea turtle... but arent the babies cute?)

So Samuel is getting lots of help.  And Samuel has a turtle.  His asthma is improving.  Last night he slept some hours quietly.  A big change.

I will have some money soon.... there are iron tablets waiting.  Appointments with speech and OT people.  Im feeling like everything will be alright.

And like I said.  Im very grateful that he can run, read, laugh, enjoy Ninja turtles!!!

Sewing Lessons for free

OMG still torn between teaching isolated people, young people, to sew, for free OR *SLAP* charging a modest amount .... my skills are worth something right?

If you can stand the whole debate on how much community service should be free.... Ive written my thoughts HERE

TODAY'S "RETURNABLE" BLOG ENTRY

If you would like to read my latest entry on REturnable consumerism..... well the link is HERE

You will also find the link on how to make this groovy apron out of a used man's shirt.

I cant imagine a world without books, hand written letters and beautiful stamps.

It was interesting but not unexpected that "studies show" that holding a real book, looking at ink on paper and turning real pages are all good for our health and if you are night time reader.... beneficial to a good night's sleep.

This is all very good news for people who love books.  The real thing books.  Dust jackets or just dust.... and all.  It is great news for libraries.  It is good news for book shops.

I reckon an extension of books are letters.  Our person to person hand written letters with a stamp and all.  It is my mission this year to promote hand written letters.

I dont think we need to participate in a study to find a quick list of the benefits of hand writing a letter.  But to do it properly, to do it so that as many people as possible benefit, I think there needs to be a couple of rules.

1. Always use a real stamp.  Who are we helping?  Why stamp collectors of course.

2.  Write the letter in your own hand writing or at the very least sign the letter by hand.
3.  Include a lovely addressed envelope.
4.  Freely include pressed flowers and the like.  Locks of hair or glittery plastic stickers and stars.... no they dont really go with the purity of ink on paper.

So who is going to benefit from a proudly presented and neatly written, heart felt letter?  Well initially the person writing it.  Then the person receiving it.  Then.... well down the track who knows.  We do know that many letters have been kept and then surprisingly found... revealing much about the people and the time when they were written.  SO much love and passion along with historical facts have been revealed because people wrote and kept letters.  Our books and museums would be the poorer if people had not taken the time to write, read and keep the letters that kept them connected.

Today I came across a blog.... this lady makes books out of collections of letters.  The link is here.  The image that follows is hers..... go take a look.  How are we ever going to glean all the important stuff from letters if they arent written?  How are we going to make beautiful keepsakes that reflect a person's life if we dont write, read and keep real, ink on paper, letters.

Pick up your pen and write a letter to someone today.

Reviving old fashioned ways because we are avoiding preservatives

Wow it's a bit time consuming... you have to be organised.... but successfully (I hope) bottled pumpkin & apple chutney.

It's my first time boiling up the jars & lids..... bottling anything really.  It wont be my last.  It was great fun and really rewarding to put the labels on the bottles.

One month curing time... and then we can try the first bottle!!

REturnable : latest post

Here is the link to my latest post on my blog REturnable.