OMG didnt get to bed till late and then Tom's alarm went off at 3.30am and he couldnt wake up to turn it off. I thought he was joking when he said he had set it for that time. It had to shake myself awake and go turn it off. OMG I wanted to smack him around. What could he have been thinking? Isnt 5am bad enough?
Gas playing up but got hot water for a shower. Thank God. Have to wake up Charlie now. That wont be pleasant.
Hope they have a good time this weekend. Im gonna be home alone with 5 kids. Cool! It's my three that are the terrors!
30 October 2008
We leave at 6.30am tomorrow. The house is cleaned from top to bottom. Just have to pack. Oh and try to get the kids into bed at a reasonable hour.
Charlie is trying to fit in as much friend time as possible... Thomas is making sure his alarm is set and he is showered with plenty of clean clothes. Ah my anal retentive clean freak! Hope some of it rubs off onto his sister eventually .... she is a girl... isnt she?
Fingers crossed our house is safe while we are away. I dont like leaving our stuff but at the end of the day we are going away to help family and what we are leaving is only possessions... dont get much back if you try and hug them!!
Im taking an art course book with me and while I mind the kids... Im gonna do some drawing. Ha! let's see what a bad student I am.
Ive had a couple of rough days trying to let go of a special project I was proud of initiating. It's ok. The most important thing is that I love people and I love to sew. Everything will fall into place.
Oh did I tell you? only 1 yr and 11 months till I get to be Mrs. so and so.
OK.... you up off the floor.... wanna tissue for those tears of laughter?
It's all Ive wanted for 20 years. Wonder how I ever talked myself into feeling ok with NOT getting the guy. Nope. Im not ok with it.
Charlie is trying to fit in as much friend time as possible... Thomas is making sure his alarm is set and he is showered with plenty of clean clothes. Ah my anal retentive clean freak! Hope some of it rubs off onto his sister eventually .... she is a girl... isnt she?
Fingers crossed our house is safe while we are away. I dont like leaving our stuff but at the end of the day we are going away to help family and what we are leaving is only possessions... dont get much back if you try and hug them!!
Im taking an art course book with me and while I mind the kids... Im gonna do some drawing. Ha! let's see what a bad student I am.
Ive had a couple of rough days trying to let go of a special project I was proud of initiating. It's ok. The most important thing is that I love people and I love to sew. Everything will fall into place.
Oh did I tell you? only 1 yr and 11 months till I get to be Mrs. so and so.
OK.... you up off the floor.... wanna tissue for those tears of laughter?
It's all Ive wanted for 20 years. Wonder how I ever talked myself into feeling ok with NOT getting the guy. Nope. Im not ok with it.
28 October 2008
To Do List..
Post out christmas ATCs
Finish 3 round robin borders (another is on its way omg)
Cut out more christmas blocks
Select new baby quilt block patterns
Set in blocks and quilt table runner for fundraiser
Work out designs for 1/2 dozen heart needle books
Find or design a half decent crochet baby layette (good god they are ugly)
Done & Dusted:
Brushed down front outside of the house..... sneaky spiders
Raked nature strip and front yard
dishes done
beds made
played heaps with Samuel
cleaned the bathroom
culled unfriendly craft groups... yep they do exist
My darling man often comments that I should write a book and Ive been thinking about it for years. Wouldnt it be the ultimate irony if I wrote a book and got it published. Irony plus miracle if it sold!!! You know stranger things have happened.
People on blog sites all over have been talking about ownership of everything from short stories to photos. It seems there is a disclosure kind of clause in all or most blogging site agreements (you tick a box when you sign up) that basically puts everything you post in their hands. It cancels out any confidentiality or copyright. So even though Im pretty sure no one will want to steal my work... I wont be writing my book on some site on the internet. It would really suck to find that your idea was good enough for some desperado to take hold of.... suddenly you can buy YOUR story for $ when you havent even been rejected by a publishing house yet.
Ive been far too cautious (yeah quieten down the guffaws) in my life and Ive decided that in my novel I wont be cautious at all. So watch out. Is there a chance I will hurt someone's feelings or get a kick in the head? well not from any one new .... ok?
Ive hesitated in the past because I want to write about issues that have been raised in my life but didnt want to offend or put people off (more laughing from the peanut gallery?) but then it occurred to me (yep... Im a bit dim sometimes) that while I might make some comment about my life... there is no reason NOT to enjoy poetic license and write about whatever I damn well please. Who says it has to be memory by memory .... the more I think about the possibilities, the freedom, of writing.... well Im a person of extreme behaviours so who knows what will happen. I could pad my life story a little or create characters that arent one bit like the real people in my story.
The first thing is to write a plan. And my first hurdle there really is.... in what "person" am I writing this? ok Im off to ponder and do some research.
Finish 3 round robin borders (another is on its way omg)
Cut out more christmas blocks
Select new baby quilt block patterns
Set in blocks and quilt table runner for fundraiser
Work out designs for 1/2 dozen heart needle books
Find or design a half decent crochet baby layette (good god they are ugly)
Done & Dusted:
Brushed down front outside of the house..... sneaky spiders
Raked nature strip and front yard
dishes done
beds made
played heaps with Samuel
cleaned the bathroom
culled unfriendly craft groups... yep they do exist
My darling man often comments that I should write a book and Ive been thinking about it for years. Wouldnt it be the ultimate irony if I wrote a book and got it published. Irony plus miracle if it sold!!! You know stranger things have happened.
People on blog sites all over have been talking about ownership of everything from short stories to photos. It seems there is a disclosure kind of clause in all or most blogging site agreements (you tick a box when you sign up) that basically puts everything you post in their hands. It cancels out any confidentiality or copyright. So even though Im pretty sure no one will want to steal my work... I wont be writing my book on some site on the internet. It would really suck to find that your idea was good enough for some desperado to take hold of.... suddenly you can buy YOUR story for $ when you havent even been rejected by a publishing house yet.
Ive been far too cautious (yeah quieten down the guffaws) in my life and Ive decided that in my novel I wont be cautious at all. So watch out. Is there a chance I will hurt someone's feelings or get a kick in the head? well not from any one new .... ok?
Ive hesitated in the past because I want to write about issues that have been raised in my life but didnt want to offend or put people off (more laughing from the peanut gallery?) but then it occurred to me (yep... Im a bit dim sometimes) that while I might make some comment about my life... there is no reason NOT to enjoy poetic license and write about whatever I damn well please. Who says it has to be memory by memory .... the more I think about the possibilities, the freedom, of writing.... well Im a person of extreme behaviours so who knows what will happen. I could pad my life story a little or create characters that arent one bit like the real people in my story.
The first thing is to write a plan. And my first hurdle there really is.... in what "person" am I writing this? ok Im off to ponder and do some research.
27 October 2008
how will I be remembered?
it's quite sobering ... dad going to yet another funeral. Im glad Im not him.... friends and others dropping like flies.
Makes me wonder.... what kind of memory or mark will I leave behind?
Rather than ponder the unknown... perhaps it is better to reflect on what I feel are treasures I have gathered thus far on my walk through my very short life (in terms of the planet). And let's keep it to the living..... loved ones lost are too difficult today.
There are no limits to my feelings for the love of my life. For going on 20 years I have praised heaven and earth for the moments of intense closeness Ive had with him. I can only say that if you have found your soul mate ... then you know. If you havent... there are no words or images spectacular enough to explain it.
My children show potential in the areas of kindness, wit, consideration of others, street smarts, logical thought. And they are healthy.... good god how do parents cope with life threatening childhood disease?
I guess when it comes down to it .... you can only leave your legacy behind within your children. Lucky for me then.... because if you are gonna measure my life success to this point... then my bank balance or resume is going to disappoint.
The big thing for me in my 40s is knowing who I am a little better, knowing parts of me Im accepting of .... and working around that place of stability.... making it a more common practice to listen and learn and consider other people. I really want to leave my critical eye on the back seat and notice people's perspective and needs.
Finally ... I want to pull my finger out (get these kids into government run childcare - yep kinder and school) and study and work.
Three kids and a man who never quite loved me enough to take my hand and jump..... well its good so far but its not enough forever.
Makes me wonder.... what kind of memory or mark will I leave behind?
Rather than ponder the unknown... perhaps it is better to reflect on what I feel are treasures I have gathered thus far on my walk through my very short life (in terms of the planet). And let's keep it to the living..... loved ones lost are too difficult today.
There are no limits to my feelings for the love of my life. For going on 20 years I have praised heaven and earth for the moments of intense closeness Ive had with him. I can only say that if you have found your soul mate ... then you know. If you havent... there are no words or images spectacular enough to explain it.
My children show potential in the areas of kindness, wit, consideration of others, street smarts, logical thought. And they are healthy.... good god how do parents cope with life threatening childhood disease?
I guess when it comes down to it .... you can only leave your legacy behind within your children. Lucky for me then.... because if you are gonna measure my life success to this point... then my bank balance or resume is going to disappoint.
The big thing for me in my 40s is knowing who I am a little better, knowing parts of me Im accepting of .... and working around that place of stability.... making it a more common practice to listen and learn and consider other people. I really want to leave my critical eye on the back seat and notice people's perspective and needs.
Finally ... I want to pull my finger out (get these kids into government run childcare - yep kinder and school) and study and work.
Three kids and a man who never quite loved me enough to take my hand and jump..... well its good so far but its not enough forever.
25 October 2008
We made it Samuel.....
my hands were shaking while I was signing forms.... but with a little boy's strength and love for his mum I guess.... well he has come through the otherside of his dental procedure just fine.
I find it interesting that the dentist blamed me entirely for his teeth's condition. They have put a stainless steel crown on his most developed molar and white crowns on all others. There was the comment that now they have taken out half his teeth I should find it easier to clean them. Yep. Well go fuck yourself George because I clean my baby's teeth. We have a check up in 6 weeks time.
Im working on this but my great sis gave me photos of my kids I havent seen in years. So check out the slideshows to see them grow.
Financially this whole thing killed me so Im glad I stayed where I did..... it might have cost me more! ?
The older kids were pretty good considering the potential problems that I had sleepless nites over.
Have to go play playdoh with Sam and hang out the washing. Gosh isnt it warm today? Mind you.... the roses are lovin the warmth and they are stunning.
Am gonna investigate a length of grey water hose when my money gets a bit better.... the back lawn has died so much just with this few weeks of no rain and its no good for us or the next people.
The move to Ballarat. I dont need to worry about anything except keeping up the bills and getting over there.... I dont care if I have to fill nail holes and paint a room - my family will help. But it would be great to pay $175 NOT $195 - $210 - $225
My girl is playing games with a guy over the internet and phone. My first reaction is to take it all away but that sends it underground. It is a certainty that I wont be letting her go to her friend's house without me..... the boy is 20 kms away..... put 1000 kms of ocean in the middle... and she can go.
I find it interesting that the dentist blamed me entirely for his teeth's condition. They have put a stainless steel crown on his most developed molar and white crowns on all others. There was the comment that now they have taken out half his teeth I should find it easier to clean them. Yep. Well go fuck yourself George because I clean my baby's teeth. We have a check up in 6 weeks time.
Im working on this but my great sis gave me photos of my kids I havent seen in years. So check out the slideshows to see them grow.
Financially this whole thing killed me so Im glad I stayed where I did..... it might have cost me more! ?
The older kids were pretty good considering the potential problems that I had sleepless nites over.
Have to go play playdoh with Sam and hang out the washing. Gosh isnt it warm today? Mind you.... the roses are lovin the warmth and they are stunning.
Am gonna investigate a length of grey water hose when my money gets a bit better.... the back lawn has died so much just with this few weeks of no rain and its no good for us or the next people.
The move to Ballarat. I dont need to worry about anything except keeping up the bills and getting over there.... I dont care if I have to fill nail holes and paint a room - my family will help. But it would be great to pay $175 NOT $195 - $210 - $225
My girl is playing games with a guy over the internet and phone. My first reaction is to take it all away but that sends it underground. It is a certainty that I wont be letting her go to her friend's house without me..... the boy is 20 kms away..... put 1000 kms of ocean in the middle... and she can go.
20 October 2008
So what is so special about him?
1. you should see how he walks...... oh ok...... his very very splendid bum..... in jeans..... oh yeah!2. he has the biggest kindest heart
3. he doesnt give up on people (me) even if they let him down because he is genuinely a nice person and doesnt hold grudges...
4. he tries to understand me and the bits he doesnt understand ... he loves too
5. no one can love a woman like this guy....
6. he can be trusted
7. he is the best lover
8. he is a good listener
9. he loves me
10. he can always surprise me
A repeat entry....
14th August 2008Somewhere there is a diary that gives the actual fateful day when you walked into the room and into my life.
20 years ago this year.... probably this month. Just before my 24th birthday.
I have never loved or hated anyone with such passion.
Today? well I love you today.
19 October 2008
An hour ago it was blue skies, fresh with that grass / sea smell that we get here. Sam wouldnt wait and ran outside (had some woolies I want to get dry). Just too cute he was standing there in his PJs shivering a little and working it around to his version of twinkle twinkle.... la la shiver la la shiver.
Now its clouding over so who knows what the weather is up to.
Polishing the house to leave (Melbourne) for a few days and then sewing and more sewing in between playing cars and all that with Samuel.
Took heaps of photos at the park yesterday - wish kids hadnt confused the USBs with multiple media players. Oh well.
18 October 2008
Saturday, sunny, 21 degrees, getting ready to go to Melbourne
Woke up to a sunny day and the lawns are done! (well yes I got energetic last night)
Sam in a really happy mood helping me by reading his books while I make the beds.
Ive swept out the back room and the back verandah area. I can feel I am very close to having the house ready for "show throughs" after we come home from Melbourne.
Im a bit confused by getting a negative reaction to my posting about my centre block. I am glad though that because of a dear friend Ive found excitement in considering other people's perspectives. It is fascinating to me how we think we are both looking at a the same thing but infact we are considering different points of view.
A huge lesson in my life is to actually read the words. Yes the voice is missing over the internet blogging system. But the clear words are there and if someone is articulate enough to state clearly a point of view, then I should only hear the words. Its not fair to add my own words. Perspective - variable, words - fairly specific.
working on: two round robins, a christmas quilt, ATCs snowmen, charms, pandas
cravings today: neck massage
Sam in a really happy mood helping me by reading his books while I make the beds.
Ive swept out the back room and the back verandah area. I can feel I am very close to having the house ready for "show throughs" after we come home from Melbourne.
Im a bit confused by getting a negative reaction to my posting about my centre block. I am glad though that because of a dear friend Ive found excitement in considering other people's perspectives. It is fascinating to me how we think we are both looking at a the same thing but infact we are considering different points of view.
A huge lesson in my life is to actually read the words. Yes the voice is missing over the internet blogging system. But the clear words are there and if someone is articulate enough to state clearly a point of view, then I should only hear the words. Its not fair to add my own words. Perspective - variable, words - fairly specific.
working on: two round robins, a christmas quilt, ATCs snowmen, charms, pandas
cravings today: neck massage
16 October 2008
Samuel had a lovely birthday. It was great to see him enjoy it. You should have heard the giggles. You know they are having serious fun when they are giggling!
Ive been really really good today and have emailed F about viewing 3 or 4 houses; washed and packed two fans, repacked xmas decorations, nearly caught up on the washing, trimmed Charlie's hair, washed and remade Thomas' bed, played with Sam. The back built in robe is now all sorted and ready to put away my sewing when Im not playing around... need the dining room to be perfect.
Have to do some ATCs and posting out by the end of the week.
Ive nearly cut out enough xmas blocks tonite so that I can make a Christmas quilt for us.
Well its 12.30 and Im going to bed.
Couldnt sleep at 3am yesterday.... so hopefully a later night and more sleep less dreaming. Not good dreams. Too many unknowns.
Oh and can you believe the possibility of hand outs of money in December. What about a few billion in making sure my children can enjoy much cleaner and more efficient .. well everything. Not to mention fixing up the education department. Spend some more money on materials and sports equipment and sports uniforms in the schools. That will mean happier kids and more money for other things in the household purse. Awards, prizes for the kids .... anything really to keep them wanting to learn and achieve their best.
A heap of money to everyone poor enough to rub their hands together ... just cant be good for the country. There are just too many important things to do. Bloody hell.
I thought they had given up on handing out big lump sums. Too many car parts, cars, china collectables (LOL), booze, whatever.... instead of the kids benefit.
Hey Mr R.. you interrupt the programming as though you are W. Churchill to make an important announcement. Your ugly face is on the screen for two minutes and I didnt hear a leader. I heard nothing much really. It's your job to protect our money and our economy. Yawn. Just piss off and go do it. You will never be a statesman just incase you are unsure.
You are moon face out of Enid Blyton's The Faraway Tree.
10 October 2008
my redone (the cross bit) second centre for the round robin....
so what have I been doing? oh you mean apart from worrying about moving house and having enough money to do everything?
well it's Samuel's third birthday on Monday 13th so Ive got his gifts and I have to sort out a cake. He is going to wake up to heaps of blown up balloons and his pressies.
and then just a week or so later he is having his teeth done so ... yeah.... excited about that? mixed feelings.
Ive packed Thomas' boxes of goodies properly and the dining room and two bedrooms are perfectly perfect for when I have to quickly tidy up for rental viewings (omg that is gonna be fun especially when Im gonna be away for some of the time).
Im constantly working in the garden and on the lawns because I dont want any problems with the final tidy up. Remember? over $200 on cutting grass?
Ive been doing a bit more sewing. Practising the funky star which Charlie loves and we have decided we are going to put in on a cushion for her room. Oh and the block above which is the second round robin. Ive been trying to make a third centre block but I cant settle on a design. I think Im a bit over it all but I will have to finish one soon because I should post a photo and get this whole thing moving along.
Charlie is being great and taking care of her hair better which is great. I bought her a couple of nail polish colors yesterday but being 14.... well Im gonna get to that and do her nails for her.
Thomas is being good most of the time. He is really looking forward to moving and having some swimming time and meeting new people.
It's hurt a bit but the money has gone to finalise their last lot of home schooling books. So that feels good (if tight LOL).
Jen is coming over mid morning for a couple of hours of craft. It doesnt feel like it always... if Sam decides he is in a mood or if Thomas decides he needs attention .... well it isnt a couple of hours sewing or anything. But it is nice to have a friend over.
so what have I been doing? oh you mean apart from worrying about moving house and having enough money to do everything?
well it's Samuel's third birthday on Monday 13th so Ive got his gifts and I have to sort out a cake. He is going to wake up to heaps of blown up balloons and his pressies.
and then just a week or so later he is having his teeth done so ... yeah.... excited about that? mixed feelings.
Ive packed Thomas' boxes of goodies properly and the dining room and two bedrooms are perfectly perfect for when I have to quickly tidy up for rental viewings (omg that is gonna be fun especially when Im gonna be away for some of the time).
Im constantly working in the garden and on the lawns because I dont want any problems with the final tidy up. Remember? over $200 on cutting grass?
Ive been doing a bit more sewing. Practising the funky star which Charlie loves and we have decided we are going to put in on a cushion for her room. Oh and the block above which is the second round robin. Ive been trying to make a third centre block but I cant settle on a design. I think Im a bit over it all but I will have to finish one soon because I should post a photo and get this whole thing moving along.
Charlie is being great and taking care of her hair better which is great. I bought her a couple of nail polish colors yesterday but being 14.... well Im gonna get to that and do her nails for her.
Thomas is being good most of the time. He is really looking forward to moving and having some swimming time and meeting new people.
It's hurt a bit but the money has gone to finalise their last lot of home schooling books. So that feels good (if tight LOL).
Jen is coming over mid morning for a couple of hours of craft. It doesnt feel like it always... if Sam decides he is in a mood or if Thomas decides he needs attention .... well it isnt a couple of hours sewing or anything. But it is nice to have a friend over.
02 October 2008
Very glad that border is done. I just couldnt get one piece to sit right but if I sewed it the fifth time well all the surrounding pieces were threatening to undo. Oh well... Im human after all.
Very glad to know something very special is organised for our dad's birthday. Thank goodness for a sister that is on the ball.
Lots more to do..... but had better do the dishes first. How many glasses can 2 children go through in 1/2 a day?
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